I call it my Kingdom of Thingdom. I always wanted a big beautiful house. I wanted all the pretty stuff to go into it.
I remember when my kids were young and we could not afford a house. We lived in a condo in Stratford. How I longed to be a grown up that had arrived. How I wished and wished that I could have a house, with color coordinated stuff to call my own, to be proud of. It was really important to me. I thought I had cheated my kids because they didn’t have a “home of their own.” Turns out they didn’t know what we owned and didn’t own. I thought it was important.
As I approach my 56th birthday and I look back on my younger self and as I gaze around at the amount of “stuff” I have, I smile. Not because of how much I have, much of it color coordinated, thankyouverymuch, but because of how unimportant any of it is. We are signing papers tonight to put the house back on the market. It will sell quickly this time. Because I’m ready to let it go. All of it. Just let it go. I am amazed at how settled my heart is about all the important acquisitions and my ability to just move on. At 35, I would have never imagined I would feel this way at 55.
See the duck? Or is it a goose? I bought that. I remember buying that. I needed it. I had just the place for it. See the lamp? I bought that. With actual money. Even put that on credit so I PAID interest to have that lamp. It’s a Tiffany. I arrived. Yup, it’s a Tiffany. I have two. Gave me goosebumps at the time.
There are the plates that were given to me by one, famous, Bo Derek. I worked for her in the early 80’s. Back when my stomach was flat and the world was all in front of me. Very few mistakes had been made yet at that point in my life. It was early though. It was my birthday and she gave me these plates. I have carted them around and displayed them where ever I live. Why? Because it’s a story. Nice plates, but mostly, it’s just a story. How many of you have plates from Bo Derek? See what I mean? But I’m going to let the plates go. You want them?
The Kingdom of Thingdom is over. We will find a small place that is affordable and adorable. I’m not just putting lipstick on a pig. It’s really how I feel in my soul. It’s really just time to let go of my stuff. It’s like weeding a very beautiful garden. I’ll save some things I truly love. The antique chest of drawers, with the wooden wheels is one such item. I bought that in Santa Barbara at a yard sale. It has wooden wheels and is sturdier than it looks. I loved the curve of the mirror. I loved the bowed front. I’ll take that. It’s useful and pretty. It makes me smile. These days, I’m only keeping things in my life that make me smile. If it feeds my soul, I’ll revel in it. If it warms my heart, I will cherish it.
I moving on, dragging very little behind me.
Have a blessed day.
