The Healing Chickadee made it to a major newspaper!!!

Thank you Waterbury Connecticut!

Beautiful Article in Connecticut paper all about the BIRDS!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014 3:05 AM EST Bird songs help with the sorrow Ansonia's Terry Murphy channels her grief to help youths deal with death BY CARRIE MACMILLAN | REPUBLICAN-AMERICAN More than four decades have passed, but Terry Murphy of Ansonia still carries the shock and hurt of a young girl who suddenly lost her big brother. Murphy was 10 when her 16-year-old brother Mike died of a blood clot that traveled from his leg to his lungs. "After he died, the color of the sky changed. And it never went back," Murphy, 54, said on a recent evening in the "empty nest" home she shares with her husband and two spaniels. Murphy, a Florida native, was the youngest of four kids and had idolized Mike, a football player. Her family, she said, was ill equipped to deal with the tragedy. "We tried not to make each other cry, but I don't think that did us any good," Murphy said. The pain stuck to Murphy. Not until she gave birth to her first daughter did she begin to process the trauma she had endured as a child. It would be another 30 years before she started the Healing Chickadee program to help children handle grief. And what might sound like a sad tale — sister loses young, vibrant brother and later starts a bereavement business for kids — is anything but. Murphy is as cheerful and energetic as she is introspective and self-deprecating. A part-time nuclear medicine technologist at Waterbury Hospital, Murphy is also incredibly kind. The Healing Chickadee, which Murphy launched last month, is designed for children ages 5 to 12 who have lost a loved one. The child receives a plain white box in the mail that contains a plush Audubon bird that sounds its call when squeezed. The white box can be transformed into a bird house and decorated by the child, who also receives a personalized scrolled note. A letter to the child's parent or guardian describes the program's goal of providing the "language of healing" as they navigate through their grief. A booklet introduces the "tweet-hearts," a cast of bird characters, including Dee Dee, a black-capped chickadee who recently lost her own grandmother. Each month for a year, the child receives a new plush bird to add to the bird house along with a newsletter featuring facts about the featured bird and coping method ideas, including meditation. "I went back to the 10-year-old girl I was, and thought about what my family would have needed," she said. "This was 1971. There was no Dr. Phil. We didn't talk about our feelings. And whenever someone dies, the first thing people ask is, 'What can I do?' This is something you can do." Birds, Murphy said, are a "natural conduit between heaven and earth and inspire imagination," although the program does not reference any religion. The Healing Chickadee costs $195.95, including shipping. A portion of proceeds benefits the National Audubon Society. Murphy is working on a scholarship program with Waterbury Hospital to bring the cost down. "I am not doing this to make money. It is a mission. If I were wealthy, I would be giving these away," she said, adding that she has yet to make any money on the business because the costs of shipping are high. She also hopes the program fosters an interest in nature. "If you can take the child outside to look for birds, you will get a lot more information about what they are feeling. They will talk more," she said. The characters in the Healing Chickadee include Jay Jay the Blue Jay, a reformed bully, and Toots the Hummingbird, a high-heeled shoe addict. The last bird to arrive is Grandpa Sage the Snowy Owl who, one year later, is still thinking about his late wife, but continuing to heal. Murphy's enthusiasm for her feathered friends is intense. "I was recently out to dinner with my daughters talking about my bird characters and they kind of looked at me like you look at someone who is crazy," Murphy said with a laugh. "I just want to put birds in boxes to help kids who are hurting." Murphy worked with a psychotherapist, Sherri Rainingbird of Southbury, to develop the program. "I'm qualified to an extent based on my own experience, but I didn't want it to be just me," she said. She collaborated with her older sister, a retired high school English teacher, on the written materials. "This has been so healing for us. Mike's death was different for all of us. My sister was 18 when he died. It was a more frightening experience for me because I was the youngest and I was home alone with two people who were bereft with grief," Murphy said of her parents. Ultimately, the death would steer Murphy's mother, who had never worked, to become a clerk on the same floor of the hospital where her son died. "She needed to come face to face with it," said Murphy, who developed a fear of all things medical after her brother's death. Later, she, too, would conquer that. When her second daughter was in high school and brought home pamphlets from a career day, Murphy was attracted to a few programs at Gateway Community College. Murphy was 40 and "had never had a meaningful career," she said. She learned about the nuclear medicine field and was attracted to its "scary sounding" name. The job, which entails preparing and administering radioactive chemical compounds to perform patient imaging procedures, such as stress tests, has been a perfect fit, she said. "When I see a patient in a waiting room, I understand their fear," she said. "I like to talk to them and make them feel comfortable." That, said Pat Frusciante of Stratford, is something that comes easily to Murphy, a "nonstop dynamo." "Everything she does is a story. She's so animated and it makes you not want to leave her company. She just has a knack for people and she wants everyone to be happy and she really goes out of her way to make that happen," said Frusciante, a former neighbor of Murphy's. "She's the only person I know who delivers chocolate chip cookies to the houses around her to welcome herself into the neighborhood. She showed up at my house with them and I thought, 'Wow, who are you?' She is just an amazing person." BIRD IS THE WORD The Healing Chickadee got its wings from another bird-themed business Terry Murphy started. In 2011, the idea for that first project, Word Bird Delivers, struck Murphy "like a bolt of lightning" when her grandson, then 9, used the expression "LOL" in conversation. Murphy was aghast by the concept of substituting actual vocabulary with an acronym. "Children are losing vocabulary at an astonishing rate of speed," she said, citing studies that show a child's exposure to language and vocabulary has lasting effects on their intellectual and emotional development. So Murphy bought her grandson a plush bird, wrote a note about a word and put it in his mailbox. Each week, he received a new word, complete with an age-appropriate story revolving around it. Murphy said her father, a disc jockey, instilled an appreciation for language in her. "I remember when I was 12 and I didn't go to church once. My dad came home and said, 'Well, it's a good thing God is ubiquitous.' I said, 'What is ubiquitous?'" Murphy said. "He explained that it meant present everywhere, like the air, like my mother's relatives, who were always around. She didn't find that as funny, but my dad was always telling stories like this and asking us to think of other words that had the same meaning." Murphy was soon sending words to both of her grandchildren regularly. It reached the point where her husband looked at her and said, "You've got a business here. There are other grandmothers who are upset about the loss of language and would love this." For $99, the child receives one plush Audubon bird to launch the program and then a word and story every week for an entire year. Judy Padula of Waterbury signed her grandson up for WordBird as a present for his fifth birthday last year. "After I heard about it, I couldn't wait to do it," Padula said. "He was very anxious each week to wait for the word. In lieu of all the army men and robots, it's something educational. From a grandmother's perspective, I would rather see them have something like this of a million toys, which they put aside. This stays with them. It's like education in a box." Contact Carrie MacMillan at cmacmillan@rep-am.com. ——— DETAILS For information on the Healing Chickadee and Word Bird Delivers, visit wordbirddelivers.com or call 203-521-6860.

The Broken Places

The beauty of being age 54 is not my figure or my face.  It's in the broken places in my life.  From the hurt and disappointments come understanding, compassion and love.  I am able to reach beyond my sorrow and touch others where I see a similar agony.  The Healing Chickadee, sweet bird that she is, comes from my heart to the heart of a child who has suffered the loss of a loved one.  It's the gift of gold.

Activities!

When I was a child of only ten, I did not possess the skills that may have been helpful to healing the grief I felt.  I began to look outside myself rather than trust my own "Guide Inside."  With that in mind, The Healing Chickadee and Her Tweet-Hearts teach those skills through activities.  One of my favorite arrives in missive number one.  Chickadee teaches meditation!   This practice will become a life long ability to get calm and become centered.  Better decisions come from a calm mind.  Thank you Chickadee!

My Parent's Wisdom and Guidance-STILL Helping Me!

I have been working closely with my family on the development of The Healing Chickadee.  It's a trauma we all survived together so they are perfect to help with the design and content.

I asked each of them to please write a review for the web site. These are my mother's thoughts:

Healing Chickadee

Product Review (submitted on November 21, 2014):

I am a mother, grandmother an aunt and a sister, I have endured the death of a loved one at all ages of my life. I was six years old when my mother died. My father was uncontrollable and I was a very scared and confused child. My siblings and I found solace in school and church.

Life proceeded and then the worst happened, my son died. It was then I felt helpless to aid my other children. The 10 year old (my daughter) grew up and thru much thought and prayers has introduced "The Healing Chickadee." This is a magnificent program for young grieving children.

This is a year long program to brighten the child's heart and soul. Every life is precious.

You will be enlightened with the program. You lives will be enriched and healing will be yours.

Betty

This is what my dad wrote:

Healing Chickadee

Product Review (submitted on November 21, 2014):

I am Terry's father and I am 85 years old. When my son died, my wife and I were devastated and shocked in a way that defied our ability to understand. The shock of the sudden loss of a 16 year old boy left us at a loss about how to render assistance to our three surviving children.

I think my daughter, Terry, creating the Healing Chickadee program, comes from her experience as a child. At age ten, she grieved the loss of her brother and wants to assist other children in similar circumstances.

Looking back I think it's a creative and worthwhile idea. A bird a month along with a story coming to our 10 year old would have opened the door to discussion. It would have given us a frame work to help her as she struggled to cope...as we all struggled to cope. I am glad she has created something for others that would have helped us as a family.

Sincerely,
Charlie Clarke

Thank you Mom & Dad!  I love you!

What do birds and angels have in common?

What do birds and angels have in common?  Wings!
Lately though, I've found MANY angels without wings.  They have arrived in human form.

I was LOSING my mind with my web site.  LOSING MY MIND I tell you!  I could not get it completed  and I was in tears.  I called for the "umpteenth" time.  Is "umpteenth" a word?  I don't care. I called the web company A LOT.

One night, as I was feeling defeated, a young woman named Gaby got on the phone.  She is an angel in human form.  She took this web site and made it her mission. She helped me, assisted me, advised me and advocated for me.  We need Gaby in government.   Her heart and soul resonated with the project.

I found a man named Rich who is a printer and one of the best human beings I know.  He has been my adviser and supplier.  He has yet to send me a bill.  His theory is that when it takes off, he'll get paid. He has the faith of a Bible character.  LOVE him! Another of my human angels.

My sister Deb is another angel.  She has worked hard for many hours to edit my writing.  My friend Pat proof reads everything.  She is my typo spotter.  Two more angels without wings who flew in to help me.

Do you believe in angels?  I do.

That's the news from my nest!

Something I hope no child ever needs.

The Healing Chickadee is something I hope no child ever needs.  However, if they do, I'm am honored to provide it.   I was the grieving child.  I was ten years old when my sixteen year old brother died after a brief and sudden illness.  My world crumbled.  It seemed the color of the sky changed.  Nothing was "normal" ever again.

Our family struggled to regain joy and laughter.  My emotions were scattered and often frightening.  As I've grown older, I have learned how to reach back to comfort the grieving child that I was, and in some ways, still am.

 I wrote The Healing Chickadee from the heart of the child who was in so much pain.  It is from that place that I am able to reach other children who may be experiencing something similar.

To create the program I had the assistance of a licensed psychotherapist, specializing in trauma. We were able to find activities, projects, stories and inspirational words to help families communicate.  Our hope is that in the sharing of experiences, quiet time together and giving children a wide and safe berth to explore their feelings, the family will return to serenity.

That is my motivation for creating the Chickadee.  I hope The Tweet-Hearts become friends of your family!
Allow Mother Nature to Nurture you!

Introducing....our girl...The Healing Chickadee!

At Word Bird Delivers we celebrate vocabulary. We understand that empowering children

 with a full, rich and diverse vocabulary is a gift that will last them a lifetime.

Every word we define, every story we tell, and every bird that flies from our workshop, 

carries our values and dreams. Our hope is that every child has a life filled with opportunity, curiosity and success. 

 We endeavor to bring children the awesome power of communication.

It all starts with words.

The Chickadee is here to help grieving children!